Negative Emotions Trial Session
Below you'll find useful background information that would be beneficial to read prior to starting. I can tell you a little about myself or if you just want to dive straight into the Negative Emotions Trial Session, then click the ‘Negative Emotions Trial Session’ button below. It’ll open the interactive session and you can begin right away.
Before starting it will be more effective if you are familiar with a few core ideas as they will come up during the session. By understanding them now you’ll be able to make the very best use of the session time.
Additionally, you may find them useful outside of these sessions as they are concepts, beliefs and ideas that may serve you well if applied in other areas of your life.
Cause & Effect
You can’t control or change something if you feel unable or powerless to do so. That’s why a good belief to have during these sessions is “If I have a problem then I also have a solution”, even if the solution may seem far away, or you are not yet aware of it.
Cause and effect is such an important belief in helping you get the most from talkingcures that it is worth repeating. “If I have a problem then I also have a solution” because by believing “If I have a problem then I also have a solution”, you put yourself in control. You'll be at 'cause' rather than at 'effect' and that small step is the first on this journey.
Even if you are not aware of them, there are likely to be things that you are doing, saying, and thinking that may prevent your ability to let go of this problem. So, something else that will move you towards a solution, should you choose to consider it, is to ask yourself “Is there anything that I’m doing, saying, thinking that enables the problem to continue?” Take a moment to reflect on that. Is there anything you do, say or think that might keep you stuck with that old problem?
By being aware of them you are more likely to stop the problem before it surfaces.
The talkingcures sessions are structured to gently tease out answers to that and other questions, giving you the ability to change.
To change attitudes, beliefs, habits, and behaviours and move from a place where the problem is an issue which you feel unable to change, to one where you have more control. Typically when you have more control problems become less of an issue.
During a talkingcures session we’ll ask questions, probably lots of questions and respond to your answers. We’re here to facilitate, support and guide you based on the answers you provide. That’s all talkingcures can do.
We can only be as useful, helpful, and insightful as your responses allow. That’s why, in answer to the questions, we ask you to go with the first thing that pops into your head and suggest that you be as open as possible.
Talkingcures is a skilled guide and the path it takes is up to you. We’re here to help but you’ll have to make it work. It’s your responsibility to point us in the right direction, so that you can get everything you need from the coaching sessions. All of the new insights, changes and success will be yours, so take responsibility for the outcome.
One event. Many viewpoints
Many of our core beliefs, attitudes, values and feelings are imprinted or learnt at a very early age. Often, we have no conscious knowledge of choosing them, we just pick them up through our early years and they hang around for better or worse.
These beliefs, attitudes, values and feelings, are the filter through which we make sense of and experience everything. Which is why the same event can produce a very different reaction or experience for those involved. An event that enlightens one person could leave another in trauma. The event is the same, the way each person filters that event is different. During the talkingcures coaching course sessions (it’s too big a subject to get into during the trial sessions) we’ll help you review these filters to check that they are consistent with the person you want to be, and help change, amend or replace them.
Imagine talkingcures as your inner voice
During the session you are the only person contributing to the dialogue, so the session is really about you talking to yourself, with talkingcures playing the role of your inner voice. That’s why, where appropriate, the session is conducted in the first person.
In a traditional coaching session, you might be asked by the coach “What is it you want to do?” and you might answer ‘believe in myself’. Then they might reply “So what you want to do is believe in yourself?”
At key points during these sessions, talkingcures becomes that voice in your head, so would instead ask “What is it I want to do?” and you might answer ‘believe in myself’. Then that talkingcures voice in your head might then go on to say “So, what I really want to do is believe in myself. How might I do that?” or “If I did believe in myself, how would I feel?"
Do you see the difference? Apart from being more personal dialogue, the important elements of the conversation during the session are in the first person, because it reflects the fact that you are the only person involved.
Also, you may notice that, above some of the questions there's some coding. For example, [DPH P/G] [N] that's because talkingcures sessions are complex and this coding helps us to keep track of it.
Why go with the first answer?
When answering the questions, the first answer that comes to mind, however odd, is instinctive. That’s the answer to work with, even if when you think about it, it makes no sense. In many ways that’s exactly the point, especially if it's not logical or doesn’t make any sense. There is no need for the answer to make sense. Changing an emotion or feeling isn’t about being rational, logical, or making sense. You’ve probably tried that. You've already thought about it (maybe too much), tried to rationalise it and it’s still there, it’s still an issue, it's still something you want to change. That’s why you are here because analysis of the problem hasn’t given you the result you want. If you could have rationalised the issue away, you’d probably have done it by now.
Talkingcures takes a different approach and works on the level of your intuition, putting logic and thinking (both of which are processes of your conscious mind) to one side. That means trusting your emotions and feelings and using your unconscious mind. In this sense, when we talk about your unconscious mind, it’s a reference to the part of you that you are not aware or conscious of right now.
Your unconscious mind
When your heart beats, what part of you makes that happen?
Your unconscious mind.
When you walk, are you thinking consciously about putting one foot in front of the other?
No, it happens unconsciously.
When you breathe, do you think about it?
Probably not, you trust your unconscious mind to fill your lungs with oxygen.
You rarely think about any of those things that keep you alive and mobile. You don’t need to because your unconscious mind takes care of all that. It runs your body; it keeps you alive and you never give it a moments conscious thought.
Your unconscious mind stores your memories in a timeline, so you know when they happened. It also stores them in a way that you can remember what happened by attaching thoughts, images, feelings, sounds, smells to those memories - but more on this in future sessions.
To protect you, it will repress memories that have powerful negative emotions, for you to deal with when it thinks you’re ready.
If in the past you’ve ever had a painful memory surface, apparently out-of-the-blue, and thought “I can’t deal with that right now” and you push it back down, that’s a repressed memory - again this is something will come back to later.
Because its job is to keep you healthy, your unconscious mind has a positive intent for everything it does, even if the outcome seems negative or extreme. For example, people with a phobia. Originally the fear response would have been created by the unconscious mind for a positive reason. Usually, to keep the person safe. But over time the negative side effects build until the phobic response far outweighs the original benefit.
To reset a phobia and reduce the phobic reaction is well within the scope of our coaching sessions. Once reset, the original phobia however long it has been an issue, disappears.
Earlier we talked about the importance of going with the first answer. Often people ask the question, “how do you know the answer is coming from your unconscious”.
You'll know because it's the first answer that pops into your head.
Here are three examples of things you know but are not conscious of (not thinking about) right now. Once the question is asked, notice how the answer instantly arrives in your mind without delay or conscious thought - it just appears. That’s how quickly answers from your unconscious mind pop into your head.
- What’s the colour of your front door?
- What’s your mother’s maiden name?
- What does water feel like?
The answers, before they were asked, were not in your conscious mind, you weren’t thinking about them. Then pop there they were, no thinking, no analysing, no consideration, they were just there. For some people a word would appear, for others they might see the answer, some get a feeling, or hear the answer, however the answer pops up is just fine. When you answer the session questions in that way then you’ll get the most from it.
In this session, we will work on being able to recognise, reduce or remove a negative feeling you have in a particular situation. A negative feeling that you’d like to stop feeling. This coaching session will give you a practical way to reduce the feeling and some insight into how you can stop it happening in the future. Does that sound right for you?
About this trial session - Negative Emotions
In therapy, the relationship between coach and client is probably the single most important factor for success. If you like and trust your coach, whatever their coaching speciality or training, you’re likely to get a better result than not. This trial session is to help you decide if talkingcures will work for you. If it does maybe you’ll decide to use some of the other free resources, tell others that need help about us or perhaps even consider an in-session purchase. If not, you haven’t lost anything except some time.
What to expect during the Session
In this Negative Emotions Trial Session, we will:
- Discover the root cause of the negative feeling or emotion.
- Find the relationship between the root cause and how that causes negative emotions.
- Examine how your core beliefs affect your emotions and find the real reason those negative emotions have been so hard to remove.
- Give you an easy way to reduce negative emotions whenever they may start to become overwhelming.
During the session you may be offered an add-on where, for a small charge, there is an option to purchase additional features or services. For example you may want a full transcript of the session emailed to you afterwards, or perhaps you might choose to extend the session to give more in-depth guidance. Apart from being an important addition to your session, the add-ons help to fund and maintain talkingcures so it's always free at the point of use. These add-ons help both you and us so please consider a purchase if appropriate.
In-session purchases are made with a credit/debit card via Stripe the payment platform used by millions of online businesses.
Are you sitting comfortably?
There will be some physical movement during this session so it's best to do this session in a quiet, private place that’s free from distractions. Depending on your answers expect to take between 25 - 50 minutes. It's is useful to have a way to record any important insights and ideas as they happen through the session. Often people stop to reflect on what's said during the session, or make notes, so take as much time as you need for it to give you the most benefit.
Click the blue 'Negative Emotions Trial Session', button below, for the session to pop-up and begin the free interactive therapy online. Should the session not start, you may need to allow pop-ups on your browser.
Homework - Whatever you decided to do today, do it. The act is symbolic and proves to yourself that you are serious about change. Also, practice the 'hand waiving' technique as it's much better to be comfortable with it prior to needing it to reduce the negative emotion.
If you chose the advanced add-on, trigger your Emotional Anchor whenever you want to instantly feel good about yourself. Also, use the transcript to replay the session, perhaps reading through the questions and revising responses to mirror the improvements made, in that way you can make swift positive changes.
Finally, reflect on the events that in the past may have triggered those old feelings and knowing what you now know, how you'd react differently in the future.
In the meantime there are a number of ways to help distance yourself from those old unwanted feelings.
When the time is right, take another session - Repeating this session would be a good idea, because you are familiar with it you'll gain additional insights which will strengthen your resistance to that old feeling.
Suggested Further Reading
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Marvin Valerie Georgia
Managing Negative Emotions Byron Neil
Declutter Your Mind J. S. Scott & Barrie Davenport
Eliminate Negative Thinking James K. Cardigan
Happiness For Every Day Summersdale Publishers
The Happy Mind Kevin Horsley & Louise Fourie
Talk to others - We would always suggest consulting with a qualified professional, especially if you feel you need more help than talkingcures can provide. Talking to friends or family will help, as a problem shared is a problem halved, that's why it's always good to talk.
Paid For Courses - Consider our 5-10 minute negative emotions Weekly Email Interventions coaching course. Every week for eight weeks a new 'quick results' mini session, focussed on a practical technique to help you overcome negative feelings will arrive in your inbox. It's the perfect way to keep your emotional energy high!